Have you ever loved someone so much that you wanted to end your life after knowing your fairytale isn’t a happy ending?  You tried to flip back the pages, but in the end, nothing changes. Still, you won’t give up.

            You try to look for a sequel. And you won’t stop.  You’ll travel.  Seeking for book two.  Hoping it is a happy ever after story.  But then you failed. Still, you won’t give up.

            And this time, it is you.  It’s you who’s writing the next part.  Why? Why can’t some people get over?  Why is being broken hearted is just about the worst pain in the world? It seems so endless.  Getting over is incredibly difficult.  You thought it was timeless, so when it’s over, it’s shattering.

            One hour you were thinking about your wedding. One minute you were planning your lives together.  The next, you’re trying to erase all the memories. And one second, you’re wanting to end your life.  You’ve become an ex or an almost lover.  How do you deal with it?  They say, one day as you look back, you’ll realize that it was a great rehearsal for subsequent relationship but you are unlikely to feel that.

            The fact of the matter is, no matter how much you think it is over, you just can’t believe it is.  Maybe you can believe it is, but you deny the fact that it really is.  Despite the fact that all people say its over and only you are left in the premise, it still doesn’t matter.  You still reject the fact that it is indeed over.

 
            It is because, although you tend to step in the latitude of acceptance, a driving force still keeps you at the same cliff.  You keep on pushing yourself, so powerful that not even gravity could pull you back.  The problem is, the more you push yourself to something, the less you realize that something is perhaps nothing.

 
            It is such a cliché.
           

            It is like fighting without knowing what you are fighting for.  You could possibly know what you are fighting for, but you just don’t know how to fight for it.  Or you don’t know where to start. Or why.  Should you give it up? You tend to question a lot of things.  You seek for answers.  And sometimes, you tend to answer questions that were never asked.

 
          So, do you think it’s over when it is over?  Do you think you’ll get over when you know it’s over?  The problem is, although you know it is over between you, and you, inside of you says it’s not.  That is the problem with the separation of the heart and the mind.  You are torn between two forces.  Powerful forces.  And the more intense the battle inside of you goes, the more intense the battle outside of you will be.

 
            Now, do you think it’s over when it’s over?  I hope it is, but it is not.